Sacramento Appraisal Blog

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Excuse me, I’d like to buy your backyard ADU

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Would you be willing to sell an ADU separately from your house? That’s a wild idea, but it’s exactly what a newer California law allows people to do. The first example of a sale like this happened recently in San Jose, so let’s talk about this law and what to do for comps. When laws or markets change, we sometimes have to start thinking about things differently. 

NOTE: I shared new stats last week on the stats tab instead of writing an entire post with twelve counties of data. Also, I’ve talked more about ADUs lately. This is not an ADU blog. Just a coincidence. 

UPCOMING SPEAKING GIGS:

8/25/26 Elk Grove MLS Meeting 8:30am
9/1/26 ROG Talks
9/9/26 Private market update with local builder
9/15/26 Culbertson & Gray
9/22/26 Downtown Regional MLS Meeting Q&A
9/24/26 Appraiser webinar TBA
10/2/26 PCAR Rocklin
10/21/26 Coldwell Banker Sierra Oaks / EDH
11/19/26 Appraiser webinar TBA

THE FIRST CONDO CONVERSION JUST HAPPENED

Two years ago, AB 1033 became law, and this allows owners to sell an ADU separately from the main house. This would not normally be allowed without some sort of a parcel split, but under AB 1033, the entire parcel can be converted to a condo, and that allows the rear ADU condo to be sold separately. Basically, the parcel becomes a two-unit condo development. On one hand, this is innovative thinking to help with affordability, but on the other hand, this type of law is sadly only needed because of a lack of affordability. Anyway, the first reported sale of an ADU condo conversion just happened in June in San Jose, so I wanted to put together some visuals for perspective since I have access to San Jose data.

EXPECT TO SEE THIS MORE IN OTHER CITIES

Keep in mind, AB 1033 is not mandatory, so these types of sales can’t happen everywhere since individual areas have to adopt the law. Only one local city I’m aware of has adopted AB 1033, and that’s West Sacramento (it’s being discussed in Sacramento). Otherwise, there are a handful of cities across the state that have embraced this new law including San Jose, San Diego, Berkeley, Oakland, San Francisco, Santa Monica, and others.

THIS UNIT SOLD TOWARD THE LOWER END OF THE MARKET

What are you going to do for comps if this law happens in your area? That’s one reason why we want to start watching examples like this. The 749 sq ft ADU conversion in San Jose sold toward the lower end of the competitive range in the ZIP Code at $530,000. Look, it’s hard to buy anything at this price point in the area. Remember, this is the city where a meth house was listed for sale at $1.5M a couple years ago (it sold at $1.36M). There are zero single family detached units selling around $530K, and there are only a few recent condo sales that low. Keep in mind, this former ADU was built in 2024, so it’s on the newer side of the age spectrum. From public records and MLS, it looks like it was financed with conventional financing, which means an appraiser had to choose condo comps from somewhere most likely (unless there was an appraisal waiver). 

All condos in bright pink compared to 600-900 SQ FT in yellow.

And here’s a look at all single family detached sales of similar size compared to the ADU condo conversion. The closest sale of similar size was about $700,000. Granted, the ADU conversion isn’t really a single family detached home, so this is not a reasonable comparison. I just wanted to show context as it looks like AB 1033 is going to help some people get into the housing market at a lower cost. 

QUESTIONS FOR THE FUTURE

1) What comps do we use for an ADU conversion?

What condo comps can we use for an ADU conversion if there aren’t any ADU conversion condos yet in the local area? In this example above, the ADU conversion sold toward the lower end of the competitive range, and that’s something we can keep in mind, but it’s also just one data point. What we want to do over time is look at various examples. Granted, if they all tend to sell toward the lower end of the range, that would be telling. For now, I think these types of valuations are going to be challenging for appraisers and the real estate community because there might not be any great comps for a while. At the least, it’ll be helpful to pull some examples in other parts of the state to study. Let’s ask questions though. What is the entry level price point for the neighborhood? What are other condos selling for? What are other detached homes of similar size selling for? And from an investment standpoint, is the sum of the parts greater than the whole here? In other words, will investors be able to split and make more money by selling each unit separately? 

Remember, the ADU is now a condo, so we’re going to compare it to other condos. It’s a tough comparison because it’s not really the same thing as a traditional condo found in a gated complex. 

2) What happens to the value of the main dwelling?

Is the value of the main dwelling going to be affected by the condo conversion? We’re going to need some data at some point to understand any impact. Keep in mind, the main house is now also considered a condo since everything on the parcel has been converted to a condo. It’s not just the ADU being converted. Will the need for condo financing or a condo form of ownership affect buyer demand and value? We don’t have these answers yet, but I have to think the pool of buyers is now smaller for a main home (I could be wrong). Previously, the main house on the front of the lot above sold for $900,000 in November 2020 without the ADU. After the ADU was built in 2024, the owner tried to sell the house and ADU for $1,390,000 in early 2025, but the listing expired. 

UPDATE: Monica in the comments told me the main unit is currently listed for sale, and that’s true. Listed at $868,000 (listed as a condo on MLS too).

3) How many owners will make this conversion? 

Converting the entire parcel to a condo comes with some challenges because now the main house has a little less privacy potentially, and it also needs to be compared to other condos as the ideal. I suspect this new law is only going to apply to a handful of situations. 

4) What other counties and cities will adopt AB 1033?

AB 1033 is state law in California, but it has to be adopted by various counties or cities, so it is not mandatory. I do think we’re going to see more cities adopt this, so real estate professionals need to stay on their toes. I suspect there is going to be an appetite for buying something like this also as it gets someone into a traditional neighborhood at a condo price point (without a huge HOA fee probably too). Remember, just because it is law doesn’t mean it’s going to happen on every parcel. I think many owners would not be comfortable with the condo conversion in the first place, so I don’t expect to see this everywhere. 

CLOSING THOUGHTS

This is an example of policy shaping the housing market. We often talk about supply and demand as being the main thing in real estate, but it’s really policy that shapes both supply and demand. In this case, on the buyer side, I like the idea of buying an ADU conversion in a neighborhood instead of a bigger condo community, but I think there are concerns for the owner when converting the entire parcel to a condo in terms of future marketability or privacy. This won’t work for everyone, but it will work for some. 

Thanks for being here. 

Question: Would you buy a condo conversion like this? Would you convert your parcel into a condo? I’d love to hear your take. 

If you liked this post, subscribe by email (or RSS). Thanks for being here.

Should an ADU be included in the square footage?

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Should the square footage of an ADU be combined with the square footage of the main house? This question has been coming up, and I wanted to give my take that there are some solid reasons why the ADU should NOT be combined with the primary dwelling. What do you think? Let’s talk about it. 

UPCOMING SPEAKING GIGS:

8/25/26 Elk Grove MLS Meeting 8:30am
9/1/26 ROG Talks
9/9/26 Private market update with local builder
9/15/26 Culbertson & Gray
9/22/26 Downtown Regional MLS Meeting Q&A
9/24/26 Appraiser webinar TBA
10/2/26 PCAR Rocklin
10/21/26 Coldwell Banker Sierra Oaks / EDH
11/19/26 Appraiser webinar TBA

NOTE: Our MLS system has an ADU category so agents can list the square footage of the main house and ADU separately. Not every MLS system has this. 

REASONS WHY THE ADU & MAIN HOUSE SHOULD NOT BE COMBINED

1) ANSI measuring standards are used by appraisers (and Fannie Mae)

As a rule of thumb, appraisers don’t combine the square footage of a main house and a detached ADU due to ANSI measuring standards not combining them. Living area must be contiguous, have heated space, at least 7 ft of ceiling height for over 50% of the dwelling, etc… For reference, Fannie Mae requires appraisers to use ANSI, and this is a huge point since ANSI measuring is now standard practice for conventional financing (the most dominant form of financing). Look, I don’t think Fannie Mae has absolute power to create the rules in real estate, but loans are literally happening on listings based on these rules, so it’s key to understand how Fannie Mae and appraisers are interpreting square footage and thinking about comps too (looking for homes with an ADU rather than a larger “comp” that has the combined square footage). If I had to guess, I would think FHA and VA are going to follow Fannie Mae’s lead here in adopting ANSI, but I could be completely wrong. 

By the way, I’m talking about a detached ADU. If the “ADU” is within the footprint of the main house and there isn’t any expectation of privacy, it’s reasonable to include that in the square footage of the house. In cases like this, the space is probably already listed within the square footage from the builder. On that note, for agent friends, be careful about listing this as an ADU in MLS because it’s really just a house with a cool ADU-like layout. I’ve seen this mistake where agents will say a home is 2,700 sq ft with an additional 500 sq ft ADU, but the “ADU” part of the layout is already accounted for within the 2,700 sq ft. 

2) It can count in the value even if it’s not in the square footage

Just because it’s not in the square footage does not mean it can’t count in the value. I realize some people get frustrated that the ADU doesn’t add to the square footage, but this doesn’t mean it can’t be accounted for in the opinion of value. Some people say the owner could lose value if it’s not combined in the square footage, but could an owner lose value if it’s combined? What if a home with an ADU could command a higher price than the combined square footage size? What do the comps show? 

3) It’s fundamentally NOT a larger house

As a non-laywer and non-broker, I wonder if it’s a liability to lump all the square footage into one number. If you have a 1,600 sq ft house and a 400 sq ft ADU, is it really a 2,000 sq ft house? No, this is a 1,600 sq ft home with something else in the backyard. Or if you have a 1,000 sq ft house with a 900 sq ft ADU, are we looking at a 1,900 sq ft home? Nope. MLS Rule 7.12 states, “all data entered in the required fields on the multiple listing service must be accurate and meaningful.” I guess I question how the combined number could be understood as “accurate” per MLS rules when the field is supposed to represent the primary square footage. All that said, I understand when agents tell me it’s a marketing disadvantage when having to say 1,600 instead of 2,000. Yet, is the combined number misleading? If so, is that the trump card here? 

4) It makes it easier to pull comps

When pulling comps, it’s so much easier when we have accurate information. It’s very helpful to know the exact size of the main house and accessory dwelling when trying to figure out value. This is especially true since some ADUs are tiny, while others are 1,200 sq ft. Our MLS has an ADU category that makes it easier to search for comps with ADUs, so combining square footage here seems like a step backward rather than helping us pull comps better. I wrote about finding ADU comps here. By the way, the combined value of a house and ADU may not be the same as other larger homes. What do the comps say? Lastly, I find some want to apply the price per sq ft of the main house to the ADU, but be careful of simple ADU math like that.

5) Let’s strive for better data

We have the ability today to segment the size of the main house and an accessory dwelling, so it seems fitting to do so. Doesn’t it seem like progress to have better data? Granted, I realize not every MLS system has this feature, but ours does, and it seems prudent to be able to break data down further so we can be more accurate. I also realize it’s tough when online portals only display one square footage category. 

6) Segmenting ADU square footage is a trend

California is leading the country in ADU permits, so having accessory dwellings show up on MLS is only going to become more common. Thus, let’s be sure to reflect the presence of ADUs as best as we can. Even Realist locally is starting to segment the square footage of an ADU separately from the main house. In short, it seems like we have a trend here of big data trying to get more specific, and I think we need to lean into that. Granted, I realize not all online portals are going to easily segment size here, and that’s a problem to be worked on ahead. 

7) Marketing can be challenging, but this is where agents shine

I find some agents say it’s more challenging to market a home with an ADU when the square footage isn’t combined because consumers aren’t readily seeing all the space. I’ve also heard that people wonder why the price per sq ft is so high for a smaller house. Look, I’m not on the selling side, and I don’t pretend to know the frustration here, but agents are masters of marketing, and their marketing skills can overcome this issue in my opinion. I’m not saying the MLS system is perfect here either, but I strongly agree with segmenting this data for the sake of accuracy. When it comes to price per square foot, that can change for so many reasons too. If a home has significant upgrades or a sweeping view, for example, that can dramatically change the price per square foot of a property compared to the comps. I don’t mean to downplay the frustration here, but segmenting this data helps get us to more accuracy while avoiding being misleading. And yes, I do think it’s a hurdle to market properties like this, but this is where agents can work their magic in marketing. 

CLOSING QUESTIONS

Is there room for other opinions? 

Of course. Let’s talk about it. 

Why are you micro-managing agents? 

That’s not the goal. Communicating accurately helps all of us when pulling comps and trying to figure out value. I want the ideal here, and I also realize it’s tough sometimes to fit a square property in a round hole when it comes to communicating on MLS and portals. 

Are buyers and agents seeing these properties? 

I hear the argument that consumers aren’t seeing some homes where the ADU is not combined in the square footage. Maybe that’s right. I guess the opposite could be true though where consumers might not see a smaller primary dwelling if an ADU is combined into the square footage. I guess this is a good reminder to maybe look at different sizes of homes in a neighborhood just in case there is something a little different that might work for a buyer. 

What if my MLS system doesn’t have an ADU category? 

This is a struggle, so there may not be a clean way to quantify the square footage of the ADU. I think this is why people sometimes combine the square footage and then clarify in the property description. Look, I’m not the MLS police here, and I’m not a broker, so I won’t tell anyone what to do. I will say that I’m not a fan of combining the square footage as it doesn’t communicate with the type of accuracy that is most helpful. Ultimately, it seems like the solution is to have a separate ADU category in all MLS systems so we can have better data and clarify how square footage is broken down across various units instead of lumping everything into the primary unit square footage. Some people suggest some sort of a total square footage category that includes everything beyond the primary dwelling. I wouldn’t have a problem with that, but I think most buyers are shopping based on the square footage of the primary house. In truth, there probably isn’t a simple way to perfectly quantify this, and even local agents aren’t always happy with the way our MLS is set up because some want to combine the square footage. I guess the big truth here is not everyone is going to be happy, and when adding more units, communication is going to get more complicated. 

Can’t we just combine the square footage like a multi-unit property?

Some people say a home with an ADU is now a multi-unit property, and I get the sentiment, but ANSI measuring does NOT apply to 2-4 unit properties, and that’s why a duplex is going to have the combined square footage listed.

Is a single-family home with an ADU a duplex?

Some say a single-family home and an ADU is now a duplex, but the permits say the extra unit is an ADU, so there is a distinction here. Maybe the market could view it as a duplex, but remember that a duplex is an investment property, and in so many cases a home with an ADU might not be an investment at all since many use it for owner occupancy and extended family (no unit is rented). An ADU tends to be inferior in most ways to the main dwelling also, whereas a duplex tends to have units of similar quality in most cases. All that said, I think the line is getting blurry between an ADU and a full-fledged unit, and there is going to be a learning curve ahead for the market in this regard.  

Thanks for being here. 

Question: Do you think an ADU should be separate or combined with the square footage of the main house? 

If you liked this post, subscribe by email (or RSS). Thanks for being here.

The housing market is not on Ozempic

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The housing market is not on Ozempic. What I mean is it’s been a really slow burn to get healthy, and there isn’t a miracle housing drug available to help affordability happen fast. Yet, we’ve actually seen some progress in 2026, and I suspect some markets around the country can relate to what’s happening in Sacramento.

UPCOMING SPEAKING GIGS:

8/25/26 Elk Grove MLS Meeting 8:30am
9/1/26 ROG Talks
9/15/26 Culbertson & Gray
10/2/26 PCAR Rocklin
10/21/26 Coldwell Banker Sierra Oaks / EDH

5% HEALTHIER IS A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

The most positive news in the housing market today is the number of closed sales is up slightly compared to last year in many locations around the country. Granted, it’s not really a huge brag to outpace such a dull year in 2025, but this is still a step in the right direction to have the best first seven months of the year since 2022 locally. There have been just over 500 additional sales this year in the Sacramento region. When I finalize these stats in a few weeks, I think it’ll be up closer to 600 sales. Keep in mind, it’s hard to see 5% change unless you’re really watching closely. It would be like weighing 200 pounds and losing 10 pounds (5%). Almost nobody can tell, but at some point, it starts becoming more noticeable if progress continues.  

ALMOST EVERY LOCAL COUNTY IS SEEING GROWTH

All ships rise and fall with the tide. What I mean is the trend of more sales has been hitting almost every county (besides Yuba and San Joaquin).

EXPECT A SLOW BURN OF CHANGE

The housing market is stuck, and it’s hard to imagine quick change ahead unless we see a sharper change to the amount of supply on the market. Like I said, there is no Ozempic to help us get fit faster. The hope is to slowly get more buyers and sellers back this year, or to be slightly less stuck. By the way, I feel this as a guy turning fifty in two months. It’s not easy to get back into shape and drop those 20 stubborn pounds… Did I say that out loud? Yes, I did.

LOWER PRICES ARE LEADING THE WAY

So many headlines talk about first-time buyers getting destroyed in today’s housing market, but we’re seeing the most growth locally between $400,000 to $500,000 – a prime first-time buyer range. Granted, having more sales in a lower price bucket could reflect prices softening from last year, but it does feel like there are more first-time buyers than headlines suggest. So many of the articles today are citing NAR’s generational survey, and I find myself skeptical. This 120-question national survey only had 6,103 responses, and I’m not sure that’s enough to support narratives about Boomers dominating first-time buyers or first-time buyers now being forty years old. I’m not anti-NAR, and I could be wrong, but I’ll keep bringing this up since this survey continues to create viral headlines. The Sacramento Bee even ran a story last month saying, “Boomers are crushing young homebuyers.” So, this matters.

IT’S SLIGHTLY MORE COMPETITIVE TODAY

A good way to describe the housing trend today (black line) is it’s softer than the pre-2020 norm (red line), but more competitive than last year (blue line). The number of homes selling above the asking price is ahead of 2025, and there aren’t as many homes going below the original list price either. I know this is maybe a different or weird way to think about the market, but it’s just one way I consider housing temperature.

DEMAND HAS SOFTENED A LITTLE LATELY

Demand has been stronger all year, but it softened a little in July as mortgage rates ticked up. This isn’t a massive hit to demand, but when talking to agents and loan officers, I’m finding most say they’re feeling slightly less demand in the trenches. Let’s keep watching mortgage rates and inflation, and it would probably help if the Iran War came to an end too. A Mike Simonsen national visual:

And local pendings. After a very decent performance in early spring, pendings have been more lackluster lately. The number of pendings usually drops from June to July, but being a little closer to 2024 and 2025 is what I’m talking about when saying demand has softened a little. 

GETTING HEALTHY AFTER HITTING THE BOTTOM

There is no sugarcoating it. The past few years have seen some of the lowest buyer activity on record. This is not me being negative. It’s simply the reality of the market. But can you see the progress as 2026 is ahead of 2023, 2024, and 2025? This isn’t a huge change, but it’s a step in the right direction. In 2008, we saw a very quick change with more buyers able to enter the market since prices went down so fast, but it’s been a slow burn in recent years. If we want to get healthy, it sure would help to have more listings. By the way, there were three times as many listings in 2008 compared to today’s numbers in the Sacramento region (that’s about 9,000 more). 

PRICES HAVE BEEN PRETTY FLAT

I’ll have updated price stats out next week to recap July, but here’s a preliminary look at the trend. Do you see how flat it’s been over the past few years? 

DUDE, WHERE’S MY EQUITY?

A friend the other day was telling me a current listing was basically priced the same as it was in 2021 when the owner overpaid, but it wasn’t attracting any interest today. Dude, where’s my car? Dude, where’s my equity? That’s a question some sellers are asking. For my real estate friends, be ready to have this conversation more in light of the horizontal price trend. 

CHANGE ISN’T HITTING EVERYONE AT ONCE

I find it’s very uneven when talking to real estate friends about the housing market becoming a little bit healthier this year. “Bro, where is this extra volume you speak of?” In short, some people are having a better year, but many others are in the thick of struggle. All I can say is change doesn’t hit everyone evenly. If I could offer any encouragement, I’d say to keep figuring out how to position yourself for the market that is happening, build relationships, increase the size of your network, be a resource to your database, don’t copy others (be yourself), and move toward the challenge of the market every single day. I don’t think there is a one-size-fits-all formula either, which is encouraging. Come up with a plan and stick to it. 

Thanks for being here. 

Question: What stands out to you above? What is your best tip for being healthy?

If you liked this post, subscribe by email (or RSS). Thanks for being here.

Explosive ADU growth & going viral online

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Accessory dwellings are all the rage, and I have some new stats to highlight explosive growth of ADU permits in the United States. And I went viral twice in recent weeks, and I want to share some thoughts on that now that I’m back from vacation. 

UPCOMING SPEAKING GIGS:

8/6/26 PCAR Auburn
8/25/26 Elk Grove MLS Meeting 8:30am
9/1/26 ROG Talks
10/2/26 PCAR Rocklin
10/21/26 Coldwell Banker Sierra Oaks / EDH

AN EXPLOSION OF PERMITS FOR ACCESSORY DWELLINGS

Some new research from Cotality shows an explosion of ADU permits in the United States, so we have a real trend on our hands. However, I’d like to see how much California means here in the data since California had 72% of the ADU permits in the country in 2025 according to Cotality research. 

TOP TEN STATES FOR ACCESSORY DWELLING PERMITS

Check out the top ten states for ADU permits. If you live in one of these states, are you starting to notice more accessory units? They are extremely common here in California, though not in every neighborhood. Being that they are expensive to build, I typically see them in locations above the median sales price. I’m definitely noticing more investors adding them to their properties to create ADU compounds also. 

By the way, which state would lead in non-permitted ADUs? 

IT’S POLICY. NOT JUST SUPPLY & DEMAND.

It’s nice to see California on top of a list these days since the state gets so much hate online, and leading is a reflection of progressive housing policy to ease the construction of ADUs. This is a powerful reminder that policy shapes the housing market. We often say housing is about supply and demand, but policy shapes supply and demand. All that said, it’s nice to see more accessory dwellings, but we need all types of units, and ADUs alone aren’t the solution to a housing shortage (even though they will help). 

THE LINE IS GETTING BLURRY

The line between an ADU and a full-fledged second unit is getting blurry. For instance, last week someone asked me if a duplex with an ADU would be considered a triplex. That’s a good question. Let me ask you this. Is a single-family home with an ADU a duplex? I’m not trying to create confusion. All I’m saying is there are some big questions ahead, and expect a growth curve for the real estate community and lenders. I believe lenders have been behind the ball already with not allowing an ADU on a duplex, but thankfully this is changing (thanks Joe for the comment (I updated this sentence)).  

GETTING EASIER TO FIND ACCESSORY UNITS ON MLS

MLS added an “ADU” field a couple years ago, and this is a great feature that many people don’t know about. Check out how many properties come up with potential ADUs when I’m looking at current listings, pendings, and sales in 2026. If you don’t see the “ADU” field while doing a map search, click “fields’, and then add the “ADU/2nd Unit” category so it will show up during every search from now on. You can also try the “Other Structures” field and then select “Guest House” to see if that works. I find when searching for ADUs, we have to try different ways of finding comps. In addition to these two fields, I would also click “search criteria” and “public remarks” to type in stuff like, “ADU,” “mother-in-law,” and “guest quarters.” 

The positive here is we have so many types of structures to look through, but we also have to sift through other stuff like a pool house, studio without a bathroom, she shed in the backyard, garage conversion, and other stuff. Remember, an ADU needs a sleeping area, bathroom, and cooking area, so if it doesn’t have one of those elements, then maybe the ADU field shouldn’t be selected on MLS? All that said, real estate isn’t always black and white, so I think no matter what there is going to be some sifting needed. Whatever the case, this is absolutely a step in the right direction, and I appreciate Metrolist being on top of this.

I WENT VIRAL & I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS

I had two really viral posts on Twitter / X, and I have some thoughts to share. I guess this is off-topic, but it’s my blog, right? 

MY TAHOE VACATION VIRAL POST

After a vacation in Tahoe last week, I posted the following photo on X (Twitter) because I thought it was striking for an Airbnb owner to warn about a Craigslist scam on the outside of the house. I think most people understood that I was simply a guy sharing this photo while legitimately renting the house, but I’ve had to clarify a good amount that I was not scammed. I added a few comments on the thread to add clarity too, of course. This post had 5.9 million impressions though. Holy Batman!!

STUFF I LEARNED FROM THIS VIRAL EXPERIENCE:
  1. Sometimes the most random stuff can go viral, and that’s what’s so puzzling about social media. I’ll very likely never have a blog post or real estate content that has quick reach like this. 
  2. I don’t think going viral is the goal. In my mind, the goal of social media is to consistently get on base and build relationships with people. This post didn’t really add too many followers either. 
  3. Going viral takes a ton of time to respond, clarify, and have the same conversation over again a few hundred times probably. Part of the problem here is my original post probably needed more information, so that’s on me. As Mike Simonsen said to me, “There is nothing like a viral tweet to ruin a weekend.” Haha. 
  4. This led to an interview with KCRA Channel 3, and my photo is in the NY Post too (looks like a mug shot). I don’t know if this is good or bad, but I guess I think it’s kind of funny. 

THE SECOND VIRAL POST GOT REALLY UGLY

Okay, let’s talk about the second viral post, which got surprisingly ugly for such a lighthearted topic. I was sharing about my garage man cave and what a difference it has made in my life for building friendships. Check out the thread here if you want. I’ve been very open in recent years about working too much and finding myself to be a statistic in the male loneliness epidemic. Anyway, I’ve been intentionally working to build friendships with people instead of just working, and this man cave has played a big part in helping me create some new patterns in life. I know I’m not alone here either because so many people have told me they can relate, and I’ve had some real estate friends ask me if their husbands can hang out with me (yes, they can). 

STUFF I LEARNED FROM THIS VIRAL EXPERIENCE:
  1. Going viral can bring out some very nasty comments. When friends saw the comments on this thread and some quote tweets, they were collectively saying to me, “WTF happened here?” Honestly, I don’t know. I have to think the thread was linked to some online group because people came at me strong saying I wasn’t a real man, I was gay, this was an AI photo, and I was an out-of-touch Boomer (I’m Gen X). As soon as I posted that I was going to silence my notifications on the post, activity died down, and that tells me people are just looking for a reaction. Yikes though. The ugly part of going viral is this is what can happen in the comments. 
  2. The real world is full of cool people. Ultra-negative comments on social media don’t reflect what the real world is actually like. Don’t let the trolls shape your worldview. 
  3. I picked up 3,000+ followers from this post. I don’t know how many are real people versus bots, but I’d say despite the negativity, so many people are craving friendships and they resonated with my garage. 
  4. Be careful about micromanaging people’s words online. What we don’t want to do is look at a few sentences and assassinate a person’s character based on that. It’s sort of like when someone says they like apples, another person will then say, “Why do you hate oranges?” Sigh.
  5. By the way, if you’re thinking constantly about whether you’re an alpha or a beta male, maybe it’s time to check yourself and start ignoring those labels. In my view, a man takes responsibility for his life and offers strength to others, and there isn’t just one narrow package of what a man looks like either. 
  6. My kids weren’t happy that I responded to the negative comments, and it honestly affected my mood quite a bit that weekend, but here’s the thing. I’m not okay with people talking to me like this, so I wanted to say something. Was it worth it? Probably not to be honest. I did like that a few people deleted their nasty comments though after I would say things like, “Tell me more. How is it gay to build friendships with people?” I just hate that people can be so mean and I have to sit there and take it. I’m not looking for any lectures here. I just wanted to share my thought process of why I said something rather than nothing. You do you. 
  7. Lastly, this reaffirmed my belief that we get to choose how we show up in person and online, and I believe we need to be the same in both places. Be cool to people. Mean people suck (’90s bumper sticker reference). 

Anyway, I’ve had enough viral content over the past couple of weeks. I’m okay with modest reach ahead. 

Thanks for being here. 

Question: Would you ever build an ADU? What do you think of this trend? And what do you think about going viral?

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